social workers

Petition wants Afghan troops replaced with social workers

It’s true this is a tough situation in Afghanistan. However, there are some that claim to know the true way to peace in Kabul. Many taking to social media asking, “Why get into a firefight when you can simply talk about your feelings?” Youths nation-wide have signed a petition to replace the Afghan security forces with social workers.

The campaign comes from the idea that the Taliban is just misunderstood and angry from 2 decades of being embarrassed by American troops on the battlefield. The viral campaign as garnered a staggering 18 billion signatures. 

Local college student, Brian McPrivillege, stated, “I’m sure if social workers simply explained to the Taliban that we were triggered by their actions, they would lay down their arms and join us for some nice fair trade tea.”

When asked if he would be willing to go to Afghanistan to help resolve the conflict, McPrivillege stated, “Hard pass.”

However, the underwater basket weaving major said he was sending ” a ton of good vibes.”  Adding, “I’m more of an ideas guy, not so much a go and do things guy.”

As the situation grows more dire, Veterans are turning to dark humor to cope. All jokes aside take care of yourself fellow OEF vets. Don’t stay up all night doomscrolling. What is happening over there is not a reflection of our efforts in uniform. Rather a failure way above our pay grade.

We should all consider taking a closer look at our elected leaders, and consider running for office ourselves. Lest we forget, and repeat the same mistakes.

Also, this was satire for the knuckle draggers who could not tell. Stay tuned to American Grit for more news, stories and updates.

In the meantime, read this non-satire story: John Oliver slams bureaucracy leaving translators behind

Know what we're sayin fam?

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