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Imagine being ordered to drink a cocktail of whiskey, hot sauce, and someone’s dirty sock from a toilet bowl. For many service members, that’s not a punishment, it’s a time honored tradition.
Though the military is known for strict rules and hierarchy, it also has a bizarre underbelly of rituals that defy regulation. These strange and sometimes downright unpleasant customs have survived for decades, creating bonds, memories, and stories that no rulebook could ever encapsulate.
The Grog Bowl
Though most common within the Army, the grog bowl is familiar across the branches as a military ball tradition, and possibly one of the most foul traditions that I have heard of in my life. Any service member who commits even a minor infraction must drink from it, often out of a toilet bowl substitute. The concoction? A horrifying cocktail that might include rum, Worcestershire sauce, coffee grounds, and possibly even a dirty sock. Contents of the grog bowl are often specific to a unit's history, specialties, location, colors, or past deployments.
Rules and regulations may vary between branches. However, it is commonplace that once finished, offenders place their cup on their head in a sign of mock triumph — and mild regret.
The USNA Monument Climb
For first-year students at the United States Naval Academy to transition from “plebes” to upperclassmen, they must partake in a feat that has been embedded in USNA tradition since 1949. This rite-of-passage occurs at the end of the school year. A plebe cover, colloquially referred to as a Dixie Cup is placed upon the top of the 21 foot tall Herndon Monument. Though all will try, one first year student must rise to the occasion and replace the Dixie Cup with an upperclassman’s cover. To make matters more interesting, upperclassmen will grease the monument with up to 200lbs of vegetable shortening. It is a superstition that the student who replaces the cover will be the first in their class to make Admiral.
The Court of Neptune
Crossing the equator has been a naval rite of passage for over 400 years — and it’s as theatrical as it is strange. Before the crossing, the pollywogs (sailors who have never crossed the equator) are separated from the shellbacks (sailors who have crossed the equator). Next, the ship’s captain dresses up as King Neptune. Accompanying Neptune is Neptune’s Court, including his wife Amphitrite, the ghost of Davy Jones, and the royal baby, all played by senior officers. The pollywogs are then put on trial in front of Neptune’s Court. The pollywogs must prove to the Court that they are worthy of becoming shellbacks. This ensues a day of unpleasant tasks, including push-ups, crawling through debris, and eating spicy food. As they finally cross the equator, the pollywogs are given a “royal bath” of seawater, turning them from pollywogs to shellbacks. To conclude, they are given an official shellback certificate. In the past, pollywogs were beaten, shaved, and sprayed with hoses, but this has not carried into modern tradition, due to the military’s pivot away from hazing. Today’s pollywog trials tend to be bizarre instead of painful.
From toilet bowls to nautical mythology, the military’s strangest traditions remind us that even the most disciplined institutions rely on humor to build the unity necessary to endure hardship. Beneath the rigid ranks and rules, these rituals keep service members laughing–and bonded through the chaos that military life entails.
